There are many things that can be considered to be causes of low self esteem, but each case is unique in its own way, and generalizing doesn’t actually mean that you’ve found the answer. If you or someone you love is dealing with low self esteem, the solution to this problem needs to start from finding out what actually generated it.
“Like in the case of any problem, the solution is always in its cause.”
In spite of the fact that we, as grownups, are fully in charge of what we do, our past determines our actions silently. Because of that, some psychologists consider the present as a reflection of the past. So, what events from the childhood, other than traumas or abuses – which are an obvious source of problems – could be considered causes of low self esteem?
- Negative events or experiences. In spite of how much our parents try to make our world a beautiful place to live in, we, as children, have the tendency to notice other, more negative things too. Therefore, if you think that you have a low self esteem level, you should look into what happened in your past as a child and understand if it could have affected you. It might be something that you didn’t even think about, or something you considered didn’t have any influence on you.
- Failures: Failures as a child could concern mostly the school years. If you didn’t do very well in school, or you failed one exam when you were a child or a teenager, this might have influenced your life as an adult even if you don’t realize it. Children are very mean sometimes, and being laughed at about a bad grade or a bad answer in class can really have a negative impact on your psyche. This can easily lead to low self esteem, to which other failures in life can add. What you or the one you love who is suffering from low self esteem should understand is that failing is in human nature. In fact no one is perfect in this world and we learn from our mistakes a lot more than our successes.
- Choices made by parents or other family members. I am not saying that your parents are among the causes of low self esteem problems, but they might have something to do with this too. Out of too much love, parents tend to make all the decisions for their children, even if, in many cases, they are old enough to decide for themselves. This gives the child the wrong impression that he is incapable of taking decisions, which leads to low self esteem.
- Lack of love from the parents. This is probably one of the worst possible causes of low self esteem. If some parents smother their kids with too much love, others are too busy to show the love. This is a problem many children are confronted with these days, which is why they feel left out and end up believing that they do not deserve love from their parents. This obviously leads to low self esteem.
These are just a few possible causes of low self esteem, but the list could go on and should be completed with personal facts and events that happened during childhood. Understanding the causes is the first step to overcome low self esteem. So pick up a pen and paper and get to work right away. Once you finish this task head over to this article on ways to build self esteem.